Materialism is the game the ego plays, while it strengthens its addiction to life

Did you ever ponder a reason to contemplate death starting from there. In pure ego we see reality through the eyes of somebody denying their own impermanence. The ego's inherrant nature is to preserve the 'self.' That is why heavy-ego'd people die scared, and light-ego'd people die peacefully. Therefore, the contemplation of the deeper reality of "death" may be a healthy part of our prayers and meditations.

Things and stuff can play a wonderful role in the denial of my my own impermanence. If I lose myself in the chatter of my bank account, my car, my ipod, my house, and my reputation then I never have to face another layer of me underneath. Additionally, I may not even know there's a ME in the silence without the stuff. Any mention of it must be voodoo. So, does that mean get rid of stuff? You're not getting my ipod without a fight. A resounding NOOOO! is the answer. The greater truth is that my stuff is what I borrow and nuture (Like my body), it does not define me. So enjoy those toys, take care of them, but do not allow identification through them.

Why is a challenge so beautiful?

A friend asked, "How do you stay positive after slicing four shots in a row into the trees," when discussing golf.

Why must we stay positive? His question seemed to imply that we're 'suppose-ta' stay positive in order to be happy or find success. I see 'positive' kinda positively, but it doesn't do enough for me toward true inner peace (IE. Success). I mean, it helps us get some traction in accomplishments and doing things that are extremely vital to a balanced existence. Peeling the onion, however, one needs to understand that when the journey is appreciated, the problems are accepted. It just turns the ego upside-down, man. It literally goes into another layer. However, we haven't even scratched the surface.

In addition to appreciating the journey, we must fully accept our impermanence. Because in order to fully connect with appreciating this life for what it is, we must fully connect with what this life isn't. And life is temporary. Reflecting on the impermanence gives us appreciation for presence.

So, lets move backward now. How do I prepare my mind to accept the problems that I encounter, so that I will be truly prepared to meet the problem? What is "truly prepared?" Science knows that in a negative state of mind our brain utilizes a more primitive mind. The primitive mind helps us certain ways, but not for higher reasoning. That occurs in the fore-brain. So you kinda want that part available when problems arise. It stands to reason that if I train my brain to use less negativity regularly, success will be the secondary result. The practice of loving-kindness trains my brain to win battles- WHOA!! It's so counter intuitive.

So, back to the original question. I don't think we need to stay positive in the face of a disastrous performance on the golf course. It appears that if we engage the mind in appreciating the error, we will be more present to create (Fore-brain, higher reasoning, creative mind) what we intend.

The interesting thing is that it's so simple to know, and so difficult to be. That's why they call it practice!!

It's all in the name

What is an Integrator, anyway? Here's my best understanding of who I'm claiming to be...



First off, let me give props to Ken Wilbur and Don Beck for bringing the concept of integral consciousness to the forefront. As the Integrator, I'm attempting to understand all states and stages of consciousness. Why? I think a better question is- why not? I get a great sense of fulfillment in life through understanding human consciousness. We are the most fascinating species that I know of. Ya, even cooler than dolphins. No other creature comes so close to understanding the nature of the cosmos, biology, physics, and art like we humans do.

I believe that the only way we, as a species, have any chance to survive is to understand where we are now. And that means understanding how we interpret the world and ourselves.

Every great teaching has a map. For the integral approach. One of the maps is called Spiral Dynamics. Check it out on youtube. It a video that discussed bipolar disorder as well as spiral dynamics. But, Its the very best basic description. The explaination starts at 4:38.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSvKByYOPdo.

It all came back to center in a moment

We generally "Take a moment" every evening as we sit down to eat dinner. Tonight was a special experience. As Amy looked deeply and presently into my eyes to prepare for our 'moment,' I felt a wave through my heart. Ya see, my mind was very active, going on and on about the stresses of this modern economy. Additionally, I was ranting on about some trivial complaint about why this world isn't perfect. And I got a glimpse, through eyes of Amy, of how presence is experienced.

In an instant, my whole experience of the world shifted. It was a palpable shift from worry to acceptance, from anxiousness to presence, and from scattered to focused. I think this human experience is precious enough to enjoy some acceptance, presence, and focus on a day to day basis. Amy reminded me of what's important. Sometimes I remind her. Thanks Amy! I'm enjoying this life with you.

To T.O. or not to T.O.

The T.O.'s (Timeouts) are Caleb's nemesis. I find that the decision and length of time of T.O.'s easily flow when my mind is in a good place. However, it is when my mind is occupied by stressors that I second guess my T.O. decision-making. Maybe Caleb should put me in T.O. I mean, what makes me right and him wrong.

This morning was a good example. Amy was hanging out with Caleb downstairs on the floor. I woke up thinking about my pile of paperwork and numerous other tasks that need to be done on my only day off. I proceeded downstairs to greet my family. I walked up to Amy and Caleb with a smile and a "good morning" greeting. Caleb was very happy to see daddy and expressed his excitement. I took that as an invite to grab him and throw him around a little. Let me put it this way - he doesn't always enjoy rough-housing as much as his father does. So he whined profusely. That, according to me, deserves a T.O.

Guilt emanated through my blood as Amy protested my methods quietly, so Caleb could not hear. Regretfully, I defended my position of putting Caleb in T.O., pointing to it's effectiveness. And, Caleb CAN'T just whine his way through life, can he? My position became more solid in my mind as I alienated myself from what is important- The balance of kindness and discipline within the family unit. I was attaching myself to the discipline- This is called REVENGE.

Yes, I realized that the T.O. came NOT from a natural consequence of Caleb's behavior, but from my desire to punish. 'Revenge' was something I began to stare at inside my mind. So, upon staring, I was able to see it. Once it was seen, it was diffused.

Caleb was upset with his T.O. and understandably holding some level of resentment toward me. This is where things got interesting. As soon as I started writing this, I truly connected to my error, and began to feel humbled. Caleb was sitting next to me on the couch watching Sunday morning cartoons. It was just about the same time that I felt humility when Caleb randomly turned to me and asked for a "Nice, big hug." This is not some common occurance that he does on a regular basis. This was more interesting beyond my ability to explain. Balance has been restored to the Gold household, for the moment...

From logic toward spirit

My transformation from logic toward spirit occurred around the age of 28. I think it was sparked by the realization that I was unequivocally unprepared in my mind regarding being a successful Chiropractor. I was sure that there was more to healing than moving the body around. And what I discovered is a place where loving-kindness and compassion rule as guides.

Tonight I contemplate the thought, "So What?" I mean, does this shift in consciousness actually DO anything. The answer is a resounding YES. My mind is so much less chatty. Let me put it this way- I remember a pretty chatty mind from as early as 5 years old. I experienced real anxiety about trivial stuff. What I'm talking about here are the committees, the voices in the head!! Ya know, the incessant noise of the mind perpetually telling you that there's something inherently wrong with this present moment. It doesn't matter what you call 'em, when they're loud and overly plentiful, the results are a suffering mind. It was the change in consciousness toward spirit that calmed the mind. However, the mind is still a little wacky, but I sort of hope that never leaves.

The word "Toward" is purposely placed. It implies that I have not given up logic. Why give up something that brought my through my first 28 years of life? The difference is that I use logic, and logic does not use me. I am grateful for the opportunity to have a glimpse of spirit in my life.

Let's peal a layer of the reality onion

Two concepts that will elevate the consciousness of humanity...

An expanded understanding of REALITY
We humans are NOT who we think were are!! It seems that modern humans have frequently locked their minds into a logical truth like,"The earth is flat" and believed that we're seeing reality. I believe that there are dozens of these "Flat Earth" beliefs that exist today. When we can fundamentally understand that we do not see reality with the senses we are given, we begin to see reality differently. And reality may not be something that I can even grasp. I mean, there's 11 DEMENSIONS that those brilliant theorists agree on. I can think of 4 with my monkey mind. If I try super hard my brain seems to wrap around the 5th, but don't ask me to describe it. So if I am living in an 11 dimension universe, I can easily humble myself to the idea that I do not see reality. Therefore, I humble myself from the need to be right. I can remain confident and powerful within the reality that I see, but I no longer attach my sense of 'self' to what I see. Therefore, I am not the truth; I can only humbly point toward the truth that I see.




That which is resisted, persists
Follow this law from every direction and it shows us that pushing back is just pushing. A defensive reaction rooting in negativity is an offense. The cycle of argument and violence perpetuates itself in a never-ending stronghold.

One ceases to have any thing or person to fight against when this law is applied. We're left with internal challenges rather than external challenges. The illusion that there's any problem outside of my own mind is exposed with this law. I become responsible for my response to the challenge. I no longer place blame and condemnation outwardly. It becomes a waste of time and energy when I could be contemplating my own responsibility within the challenge. Complaining and gossip are replaced with observation and discernment (External turns to internal). While complaining and gossip fuel resistance, an internal approach creates greater probability toward resolve.

ADHD

recently, I enjoyed a conversation with a woman having challenges with her 11 year old son. Her son was diagnosed several years ago with ADHD, and she was open to a different way of looking at the challenge.
My counsel centered on the premise that HE is not the problem. When I, as parent, see CHILD as the problem, there is a common and probable result. This result is the culmination of 2 dependent qualities bouncing into each other:

1) The message that is sent from the parent is, "I will be happier when my child is better.

2) The message that is received from the child is, "I am not enough, and she doesn't see me for who I am."


These qualities dance is a spin cycle called co-dependence. The parent looks for more and better ways of making the child better, and the child starves for the concept of self value.
Meanwhile we, as parents can't even get to sleep at night because our minds are spinning. Hello, sounds pretty close to some sort of attention deficit-type problem. Maybe I'm part of this mental noise that my child is experiencing. Maybe I can look at my role in the creation of influencing the child's mind toward chaos and lack of attention. Can I look at the idea that I am causing harm to my child? Absolutely!! Looking at my influence gives me power in envisioning new and different ways to approach the challenge internally. As I look from this view I no longer project speech or position that tries to pin YOU as the problem.

The child is going to be the child. My influence upon the child is so much more effective from accepting the ADHD-type behavior as a part of the child. My greatest path toward healing occurs through accepting the child and working internally to discover who I can be in response to the imbalances portrayed by the behavior of ADHD. As I examine my own mind, I may see many ways that I may able to demonstrate structure and discipline of my mind. Therefore, my practice of focusing my mind becomes the example that the child sees. Furthermore, the probability I create a clear, structured, kind, and light-hearted environment goes way up. It is this environment that facilitates the child's creativity, exploration, and balance in the mind.

Additionally, this approach moves me into self examination. It is important to examine the Self from a place of courage and resolve. It is important also to have a light hearted sense of humor around our imperfect nature, as humans.

I went on to advise the idea of searching for the most effective practitioner that resonates with the idea that the challenge lies within ME. A psychologist with ADHD experience may be of service.